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Teaser:

A stagecoach pulls into a Stage Depot in a dusty town and a nun dressed in a full habit gets off.
Nun:  Thank you.  Good-bye.  (the driver hands her a carpet bag) Oh, thank you (as she takes the bag).
The nun walks from the road up to the boardwalk sidewalk when we hear Heyes call out to her.
Heyes:  Sister Julia!
Sister Julia:  Why Joshua!  Thaddeus!  What a pleasant surprise!
Kid:  Sister.
Sister Julia:  What are you doing here?
Kid:  Well, we, ahh, delivered our cattle this morning and we thought we'd come into town, try to sell the wagon.
Sister Julia:  Well, it's nice to see ya.
Heyes:  Well, it's wonderful to see you, Sister.
Sister Julia:  You know, we never did find Sister Isabel.  It's one of the great mysteries of my life.
Heyes and Kid exchange a knowing look, but say nothing.

Opening Theme:

"Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry, the two most successful outlaws in the history of the west...."

A small cattle herd, a chuck wagon and two drovers move the animals across a landscape of sagebrush, yucca, and Joshua trees.  The drovers are Heyes and Curry.  Jim, an older fellow and the driver of the wagon, spots a buckboard stuck in the sand.  Two nuns--Sister Julia and Sister Isabel--are working to free it.  Sister Julia, the elder of the pair, is digging with a shovel at one of the back wheels.  Sister Isabel is holding the reins of the team of horses.
Jim:  "Hey, Smith!"
Heyes looks over and sees the buckboard.  He rides over, followed by Curry.  Jim stops the wagon nearby.  Sister Julia continues to dig.
Sister Isabel:  "Come on, pull.  Oh, come on, horses, come on."
Curry dismounts, and crouches next to the wheel.
Curry:  "Won't work.  Axle's broken."
Sister Julia crouches next to him to look.

The nuns are driving the chuckwagon.  Their two horses are tied behind the wagon; Jim is riding one of them bareback.  Heyes and Curry are driving the cattle nearby.  The title and opening credits run as they move cross-country.
Jim:  "Hey, Mr. Smith!  Mr. Smith, come 'ere."  Heyes rides up alongside Jim.  "The new driver said you're gonna take 'em to Pearlman to catch the stage."
Heyes:  "That's right, first thing in the morning."
Jim:  "Well, you better leave me here 'cause I don't wanna get these animals any closer to town."
Heyes moves up to the front of the wagon.
Heyes:  "Sister, hold it up right here.  Guess this is as good a place as any to make camp."
The wagon stops and the nuns climb down.  Curry rides up and dismounts.  Sister Julia looks around.
Sister Julia:  "Well.  I take it this is where we're going to spend the night."
Heyes:  "Yup."
Sister Julia:  "By any chance are you gentlemen Catholics?"
Curry:  "No, ah, Kansans, ma'am."
Sister Julia:  "Kansans!?"
Heyes and Curry exchange nervous, uncomfortable glances several times during this conversation.
Heyes:  Laughs.  "What my friend meant is, ah, we're from Kansas.  And, ah, not too many Catholics in Kansas."
Sister Julia:  "You do go to church regularly, I mean, to your own church."
Heyes:  "Ah, well, ah, no, I, ah, I wouldn't call us regulars... move around a lot."
Sister Julia:  "Do you go to church?"
Curry:  "Ah... We did... yeah, ah, yeah, every Sunday, back at the home."
Sister Julia:  "The home?"
Heyes:  "Yeah, the home.  For orphans.  We, ah, we both lost our folks in the border wars."
Curry:  "And about the only place for orphans back in those days was the Valparaiso School for Waywards."
Sister Julia:  "It's easy to see they did a fine job."
Curry:  "Well, thank you, ma'am."
Sister Julia:  "They must be very proud."
Curry:  "Ah, well, not real proud, no, ma'am.  You see, we ran away when we were fifteen.  I guess you might say that we're, um, self-made... kinda."
Sister Julia:  "Well, if either of you would care to join us in the fellowship of evening prayer, please, don't hesitate."
Heyes:  "Thank you, ma'am, ah, Sister.  We have to, ah, look after the stock, and build a fire, and make camp, and... you understand."
Sister Julia:  "Not really.  Sister Isabel."
The nuns walk off.
Heyes:  "I swear, if you'd talked to her much longer, you'd've told her about the prices on our heads."

A stagecoach pulls into Pearlman.  Colorfully-dressed saloon girls wave from the windows.  Heyes and Curry are riding into Pearlman on horseback.  The nuns are each riding one of the buckboard horses led by Heyes and Curry.  As the stagecoach passes them, the girls wave; they smile in response.  The nuns turn to look.
Sister Julia:  "Is that our stage?"
Curry:  "Ah, no, Sister.  That's the east-bound.  Stage to Kettledrum comes from that direction."
They reach the livery stable.  Heyes helps the nuns down from the horses.
Sister Julia:  "Thank you."
Heyes:  "You're welcome."
The stableman comes out to take their animals.
Curry:  To stableman,  "Howdy.  Only grain and water for these boys, okay?"
The stableman nods and leads two of the horses away.
Heyes:  To Sister Julia,  "Well, I think that's the man you're lookin' for to talk about these horses with.  I hope you and Sister Isabel have a good trip, ma'am."
Sister Julia:  "Well, thank you both and... and bless you."
Heyes:  "Sister, thank you.  Goodbye."
They all shake hands and say goodbye.  Heyes and Curry head toward the saloon.

Heyes and Curry are leaning on the bar, each with a glass of beer in front of him.  Curry glances at a near-by poker table where every chair is taken.
Curry:  "Look at the size of that pot.  Heyes, you suppose if I yelled fire a couple of seats would open up in that game?"
Heyes:  "No, that wouldn't work.  They'd just take their cards with 'em."
A boy enters and walks around the inside of the saloon.
Boy:  Calls over and over,  "Anybody here named Smith or Jones?"
Heyes and Curry look at each other, then head for the door.  Sister Julia is waiting outside. The boy is still inside the saloon, calling for them.
Heyes:  "What's the matter?"
Sister Julia:  "I don't know what has happened.  I left Sister Isabel for a few minutes to sell the horses, and when I came out, she was gone... vanished.  I went up and down the street.  Something must have happened!"
Heyes:  "Well, she couldn't have gone far, ma'am."
Curry:  "Don't worry, sister.  We'll find her.  Somebody had to see her."
Heyes:  Smiles.  "Matter of fact, it's pretty hard to lose a nun in a town like this."
Sister Julia:  "Yes."
They walk up the street with Sister Julia and pause in front of a carpentry shop where a man is building a cabinet.
Heyes:  "Excuse me... You didn't see a nun go by ten, fifteen minutes ago?  About this tall.  Young?"
The man shakes his head.  They continue on and stop to talk to a man leaning against a post in front of the general store.
Heyes:  "Did you see a nun go by, dressed like this, young, about this tall?"
The man shakes his head.  A grocery clerk nearby is loading a wagon with supplies.
Heyes:  "Howdy, mister.  You wouldn't have happened to see a nun go by in the last ten or fifteen minutes?  Young, about this tall?"
Clerk:  "Yep."
Curry:  "You did?"
Clerk:  "Yep.  Like I told the other fella that asked, she was headed down that way 'bout twenty minutes ago."
Heyes:  "Uh, are you sure?"
Clerk:  "Mister, I can tell black horses from white horses, and I can sure tell a nun---"
Heyes:  "No, no, I mean about the other fella asking.  He asked if you'd seen a nun?"
Clerk:  "Sure did, and he described her better than you did."
Curry:  To Sister Julia,  "Did you tell anybody else that she's missing?"
Sister Julia:  "Why, I never said a word to anyone!"
Heyes:  To clerk,  "What'd this man look like?"
The clerk pauses, holding a sack.
Clerk:  "Oh, snake face, eyes set too close... citified clothes... and he walked like he just won a raffle.  Does that ring a bell?"
Heyes:  "Nope, but thanks just the same.  Appreciate it."
The move into the street.
Sister Julia:  "Gentlemen, I think the time has come for me to go to the sheriff.  Do you want to come with me?"
Heyes exchanges a glance with Curry.
Heyes:  "You go ahead.  We'll just keep lookin'."
Curry:  "Ma'am."
She crosses the street.  Heyes and Curry continue walking.
Heyes:  "You know, Kid, that description sounds like it ought to mean something to us."
Curry spots Harry Briscoe standing next to a horse, adjusting the saddle.
Curry:  "Huh.  I should've known."
[Note: Starting here, this scene is intercut with another scene that takes place in the saloon dressing room.]

Inside the saloon dressing room, someone is lacing up the back of a dress.  Laura, a blonde saloon girl, rushes in, leaving the door open.  Other girls are standing around.
Laura:  "Hey, you should come get a look.  They're taking the town apart looking for one of those nuns we saw when we came in."
Madge, another saloon girl, finishes the laces and turns the girl around.  It is Molly aka Sister Isabel, now in a fancy dress.  Molly's hair is cut short.
Madge:  "Just shut your mouth and close the door.  This is her.  This is the nun."

Curry:  "Harry Briscoe!  How are ya, Harry!"
Harry looks back.  He turns and grins.

Laura closes the door.  Madge seats Molly in a chair and picks up a red wig, hair piled high.  Molly and Madge work on arranging the wig.  Laura sits on a nearby chair.
Laura:  "I don't get it."
Madge:  "What's to get?  I mean, she's in trouble and we're trying to help her, that's all."
Laura:  "What kind of trouble?"
Madge:  "Man trouble, honey, man trouble.  What other kind is there?"

Heyes:  "Hey, hi, Harry."
Harry:  "What are you boys doin' in Pearlman!?"
Heyes:  "What are you doing in Pearlman, Harry?"
Harry:  "I'm proud to tell you, I'm working."
Curry:  "At what?"
Harry ties his horse to a fence.
Harry:  "Why, the Bannerman Detective Agency.  They welcomed me back with open arms.  Of course, they didn't know about my, uh, little moment of weakness!  Hadn't been for you two boys, I don't think I'd a had the strength to overcome it.

Molly:  "You don't know how grateful I am.  I was desperate."
Madge:  "Forget it, sweetie.  We've all been there.  Course, this disguise... I mean, this really beats everything.  I sure wish I had something like this when I was trying to shake Charley."
Madge picks up the nun's habit.
Molly:  "Here, let me take that.  You've done so much already."
Molly takes the habit from Madge and packs it in a valise.
Madge:  "Oh, listen, I'm not through yet."

Harry:  "C'mon, I'll buy you a drink.  Huh?"
Heyes:  "You didn't tell us what you're doing here."
Harry:  "Now, boys, you know I can't do that.  A Bannerman man's job is confidential.  Strictly confidential."
Curry:  "All right, Harry, then we'll tell you what your job is.  You're here looking for a nun."
Harry:  Surprised.  "Hmmm?"
Curry:  "Her name is Sister Isabel.  She's in her early twenties, kind of pretty, 'bout so tall."
Harry:  "How did you know that?!"
Heyes:  "'Cause we brought her into town.  Because she's turned up missing."
Curry:  "And because a fella gave us your description as the one looking for her."

Madge:  "When I finish with you, your own mother isn't gonna recognize you."
Madge places a beauty spot on Molly's cheek.

Harry:  "Now, I'll give you boys some information you don't have.  Now, that girl's name is not Isabel, it's Molly.  Molly Cusack.  And she's not a nun.  She's a typewriter."
Curry:  "A typewriter?"
Harry:  Nods.  "That's right.  She works one of those typewritin' machines for a bank in Independence, Missouri.  Would you believe she robbed that bank of thir-ty thousand dollars?"

Madge leans in to give Molly some advice.
Madge:  "Remember, when you go downstairs, there is nothin' to be afraid of.  I mean, we are west of the Mississippi, where a woman, no matter who she is or how she makes her livin', is still treated like a queen."
Molly:  "Well, I just hope I can do what's... necessary."

Heyes:  "Harry, how can you expect us to believe that?"
Harry:  "Well, that's exactly what she done.  Got out of town by dressing up in a nun's outfit.  Headed west.  I got word she joined up with another sister east of Ironstone."
Heyes:  "All right.  The girl steals some money.  Puts on a nun's outfit.  How do you know that this girl is the one?"
Harry:  "Well, I don't know for sure, I only saw her from a distance.  From my hotel window over there.  When I got down here, she saw me and ran into the store."
Curry puts a hand on Harry's shoulder.
Curry:  "Harry, you're getting' in deeper every minute."
Harry:  Defensively.  "What do you mean?"
Heyes:  "Now, you think about it, Harry.  A smart detective like you--the answer will come to you."
Harry:  "Well, it isn't!"
Curry:  "Well, you think, Harry.  Now, how did she know you?"
Harry:  "Huh?"
Heyes:  "How would she have any reason to run unless she recognized you!  And how could she do that?"
Harry:  "Well, you see, boys, I almost caught up with her outside Lawrence, Kansas, before she joined up with the other lady nun.  Uh, my horse went lame or I'd a caught her.  I guess that's when she saw me."
Curry:  With a grin, "Harry, don't you ever do anything right... not even lyin'?"
Sister Julia approaches.
Sister Julia:  "Mr. Jones!  I'm so glad you didn't leave.  I thought maybe you'd like to be deputized.  The sheriff's soliciting everybody."
Harry:  "The sheriff?  What's the sheriff doing...?"
Heyes:  "Dep... Deputized?  Uh, no, thank you, ma'am.  You forget, we still have that herd to move."
Curry:  "And I'm sure they can find Sister Isabel without our help, ma'am."
Sister Julia:  Distressed.  "Oh, I hope you're right.  I'm so worried!  What do you think could have happened?"
Harry:  "I can answer that one for you, Sister."
Heyes:  "Hold that thought a moment, Harry!  Excuse us, Sister.  We'd like to talk with our friend here."
They grab Harry by the arms and move him away from Sister Julia.  They each keep a hand on Harry's shoulders while they talk.  Their tone isn't as friendly as it was.
Harry:  "Now, wait a minute!  There's no reason why I shouldn't inform the good sister as to the true nature of the bad sister."
Curry:  "Except that the good sister happens to be a friend of ours, and we're not going to let you hurt her with a story that may not be true."
Harry:  "Well, she shouldn't have brought in the sheriff!  I don't need the sheriff.  Back at the Agency, this will be a big feather in my cap if I can solve it by myself!"
Heyes:  "That's your problem!"

Madge still advising Molly.
Madge:  "Oh, there's nothing to it, honey.  I mean, they're probably gonna offer you a drink.  Now, the thing to do is accept it.  I mean, you don't have to drink it, but accept it.  Anyway, they're gonna treat you real fine."

Heyes:  "You're gonna let the sister go to the convent at Santa Yago without any word about the Bannerman Detective Agency."
Curry:  "Or the bank robbery."
Heyes:  "Or any young girl posing as a nun.  Or you'll tangle with us."
Harry looks from one to the other.  They mean business.
Harry:  "All right, boys, all right.  I guess I owe you that much.  Never let it be said that Harry Briscoe wasn't concerned for the feelings of others."

Someone knocks on the door in the Saloon backroom.
Molly:  "Excuse me."  She picks up the valise and hides behind a rack of clothes.
Charley:  From the other side of the door, "Hey, Madge."
Madge opens the door.  Two cowboys stand there grinning.
Charley:  "Howdy."  Madge closes the door on them.  "Hey, Madge.  Open the door, Madge."
Madge:  "What do you want?"
Charley:  Banging on the door, "Will you open the door?"
Madge:  "No. Why?"
Charley:  "I'm a deputy."
Madge:  "You're a what?"
Charley:  "Yeah.  We gotta come in and search the place."

Heyes and Curry with Harry walk toward Sister Julia.
Heyes:  "Sister, we've conversed with our friend Mr. Briscoe and he thinks you can go on to the convent without worry."
Sister Julia:  "Mr. Briscoe?"
Harry:  "Yes, Sister, you see, I'm Harry Briscoe.  I have reason to believe..."
Heyes claps a hand on his shoulder and interrupts.
Heyes:  "He's had a lot of experience with these things."
Curry:  "Ah, how long have you known Sister Isabel, ma'am?"
Sister Julia:  "She joined me when I bought that wagon.  Why?"
Curry:  "Oh, just idle curiosity."

Madge opens the door.  Charley and another man enter and check the room.  Charley takes a dress off the rack and sees Molly behind.  Another girl steps in and distracts him.
Charley:  "Well, now, Madge, I can sure see you ain't got no nuns around here."
Everyone laughs.

Heyes:  "We can get you accommodations at the hotel."
Sister Julia:  "The sheriff has very graciously given me a cell.  But he said I can have as many visitors as I want.  You will drop in, won't you?"
Curry:  "I don't think so, ma'am."
Heyes:  "Thaddeus means that after one hand of poker we'll be headin' back to camp."
Sister Julia:  "I see... Goodbye, Joshua, Mr. Briscoe, Thaddeus."
Curry:  "Ma'am."
Sister Julia:  "God go with you."
Heyes:  "Thank you.  Thank you, ma'am."
Curry:  "Thank you."
Harry starts to follow Sister Julia.  Heyes and Curry grab him by the arms.

The girls descend the stairs into the saloon to the cheers of the customers.  Curry and Heyes are watching a poker game.  They turn to the bar.  Heyes pushes aside a man who's passed out against the bar.
Heyes:  "He won that pot with a pair of queens!  What do you suppose they do, buy those seats a month in advance?"
Curry gets the bartender's attention and holds up two fingers.  Two glasses of beer slide down the bar and stop in front of them.
Curry:  "No.  To get in that game you've got to be born in it."  He taps Heyes on the arm.  "Harry's back."
Curry and Heyes pick up their beers and move to a table.  Harry crosses the saloon to join them.
Curry:  "Harry, have a seat."
Heyes:  "Thought you left to look for Sister Isabel."
Harry:  "No point in it now.  The sheriff's got so many men runnin' around out there, they're stumbling all over themselves."
Harry turns to Molly and gestures to her.
Harry:  "Hey, honey.  You, with the red hair.  Give me a beer, will you?"  He turns back to Curry and Heyes, and lights up a cigar.  "They even got men ridin' the range lookin' for her."
Curry:  "They'll find her."
Harry:  "That's what worries me.  Now, I mean, I coulda found her without all this help!"
Curry:  "No doubt about it, Harry."
Harry:  "I don't know how she did it, but somehow she got outa town!"
Heyes:  "If she did, there's nothin' but miles of bad water and coyotes."
Molly sets a beer on the table.  None of them pay her any attention.  Harry suddenly has an idea.
Harry:  "I got it!  I know where she is!  Didn't you boys tell me you had a campsite a few miles out?"
Heyes:  "And you think she's out there?"
Harry:  "Where you boys are concerned, I believe nothing I don't see and only half of what I do see.  Now, do you mind if I take a look around?"
Heyes gives Curry a look and shrugs.
Heyes:  "If you want to check out our camp, you're welcome to."
Harry:  Suspicious, "What're you up to now?"
Heyes:  "I'm just trying to keep you happy."
Curry:  "As a matter of fact, Harry, I'll tell you what.  We'll go with you, if that's what'll make you happy."
Harry:  "Now that sounds like the boys I know."
Heyes:  "It sounds like two poker players who can't stand watching bad players losin' to each other."
Heyes and Curry get up from the table and walk towards the door.  Harry pauses for one last swallow of beer.
Harry:  "Huh?"
Harry follows them out of the saloon, walking right past Molly.  He pays no attention to her.  She breathes a sigh of relief.

Heyes, Curry and Harry ride up to the camp.  Jim is making dinner.
Heyes:  "Hey, Jim."
Jim:  "Well, it's about time you get back."
Harry climbs into the wagon without a word.  Jim picks up a rifle and heads for the wagon.  Curry grabs the rifle from him as he goes by.
Jim:  "What's the matter with him?"
Curry:  "He's a detective, Jim.  All detectives act that way."
Harry climbs out of the wagon.  He gets on his horse and rides out to the herd, then rides back.  Curry is tasting what's in an iron pot over the fire, and both he and Heyes have poured themselves cups of coffee.
Heyes:  "Satisfied?"
Harry:  "Yeah. Yeah, I'm satisfied.  Just what are you two fellas up to, anyway?  Them's all cows out there.  Ain't a steer in the bunch."
Heyes:  "Every one of those little ladies has been bred to a prize Brahma down in Arizona.  We're getting four-hundred dollars just to see they get home safe."
Harry:  "If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it."
Curry:  "Well, you've seen it.  Now, if you wanna join us for supper, you're welcome."
Harry:  "No, thanks, I'll pick up something back in town.  I'm real sorry I didn't trust you boys the way I should have.  No offense intended."
Heyes:  "Sure, Harry.  Good luck."
Harry:  "Thanks.  Sure good seeing you again."
Heyes:  "Good seeing you."
Curry:  "So long, Harry."
Harry rides away.
Heyes:  To Jim, "Harry Briscoe."
Jim whistles.
Curry:  "You make these beans?"
Jim:  "I make 'em.  Make the best beans around."
Heyes:  "Yeah?  You should taste your coffee."
Jim:  "It ain't bad, too."
Heyes:  "Ha ha."

The wagon and herd are moving across rough terrain.  Jim pulls the wagon to a stop.
Jim:  "Hey, Mr. Smith!  Mr. Smith!"  Heyes rides up.  "I been hearin' strange sounds comin' outta this wagon's all mornin'.  You better check the cargo."
Heyes:  "All right."
Heyes moves to the back of the wagon and climbs in.  Curry rides up and waits on his horse.  Heyes leans out of the wagon.
Heyes:  "Have I got a surprise for you."
Sister Isabel climbs down, followed by Heyes.  She's again wearing the nun's habit.
Curry:  "Oh, no."  He gets down from his horse.  Sister Isabel nervously moves away from him and Heyes.  Jim stands nearby.  "Should we ask questions or are you gonna tell us what's goin' on?"
Molly:  "Well, I'll tell you.  I'm not really Sister Isabel.  I'm not even a nun.  My name's Molly Cusack."
Heyes:  "How did you get into our camp?"
Molly:  "Well, last night after they gave up the search, I slipped into the back of a buckboard headed this way.  I jumped out about a mile from your camp, and sneaked in."
Jim:  "I better make camp, if you're all gonna stand here talkin'."  He moves away.
Molly:  "I know my behavior may seem strange to you.  But if you knew the terrible danger I'm in, you'd understand.  He's an awful man.  Really.  A drunken beast!  He beat me.  That's why I had to get away from him.  I never wanted to marry him in the first place."
Heyes:  "Wait a minute.  This man, is this the one we met in town?  Dark suit and his eyes a little too close together?"
Molly:  "That's right.  That's him."
Curry:  "And you were married to him. (chuckles) What's his name?"
Molly:  "He could be using any name.  In addition to what I told you, he's a terrible liar.  Otherwise, I'd never have married him."
Curry:  "His name?"
Molly:  "Beaudine, George Beaudine.  He's a bookkeeper.  An ordinary bookkeeper.  Before we were married he told me was an investment banker.  How do you like that?"
Heyes and Curry exchange looks.
Heyes:  "Molly, we have something to tell you.  Sit down.  Sit down a minute.  Over there."
Molly sits down on a rock.
Heyes:  "Now, first of all, your story's not bad.  It's not bad at all.  There's only one reason why we don't believe it."
Molly:  "Well, why not?  It's the truth!"
Curry:  "Yeah, Molly, we'd absolutely believe it, except for one thing."
Molly:  "Well, I don't care what that man told you.  He's the world's greatest liar.  He could fool anyone."
Heyes:  "Well, he has a lot of bad habits.  But, there's only one thing wrong.  We've known him a long, long time."
Molly:  "You have?"
Heyes:  "Mmm-hmm.  His name isn't George Beaudine."
Molly:  "It's not?"
Heyes:  "Mmm-mmm.  It's Harry Briscoe."
Curry:  "And Harry is not the world's greatest at anything.  Not even lyin'.  You want to know the truth?  The truth is you were a typewriter working in a bank in Independence, Missouri, and you stole thirty thousand dollars.  And Harry is an agent for the Bannerman Detective Agency, and now he's lookin' for you."
Heyes:  "Right?"
Molly:  "Wrong."
Heyes:  "Wrong?"
Molly:  "Wrong!  I was a typewriter working in the bank.  And Harry Briscoe comes along and starts taking me out to supper and soft-soaping me and telling me stories!  And finally he told me why.  He needed a partner--me--to help him steal a fortune from my employers!"
Curry:  "Harry Briscoe planned a bank robbery?"
Molly:  Nods.  "Well, he finally made me see how easy it would be for me to do it.  So I did it.  I stole thirty thousand dollars, but by that time I'd begun to realize what a terrible man he was.  So I hid the money and ran away."
Heyes:  "Why didn't you just give the money back?"
Molly:  Defiantly, "Because I decided I wanted the thirty thousand for myself.  Now, is that truth enough for you?"

It's night.  Heyes, Curry and Molly are sitting around the campfire, drinking coffee.
Heyes:  "There's only one thing I've been trying to figure out all evening, I don't understand."
Molly:  "What?"
Heyes:  "How you could convince Sister Julia that you're really a nun."
Molly:  "What's hard about that?  I was born a Catholic.  My parents came from Kilkenny.  My sister is a nun.  As a matter of fact, it was her habit I took when I ran away."
Curry:  "Your sister's a nun and Harry managed to convince you to steal thirty thousand dollars?"
Molly:  "Well, he didn't meet much resistance.  The Cusacks have a lot of getting even to do."
Heyes:  "Gettin' even?"
Molly:  "It's an old saying of my father's.  For a lot of years all we could do was get mad."
Curry:  "I don't understand."
Molly:  "That's because you're not Irish."
Curry:  "I am Irish."
Molly:  "Jones is Irish?"
Curry:  "Well, my grandparents, ah, they came from, ah, Londonderry."
Molly:  Disgusted.  "Londonderry!  That's Ulster!"
Curry:  "What do you mean?  They came from Ireland."
Molly:  With contempt, "They're from Ulster!  They're the Orangemen, who ran so quick to drop the O's and the Mac's from their name when they came to America so they'd be considered proper Englishmen.  It's not them that's meant when they say, 'No Irish need apply.'  It's them that makes it hardest on the Irish.  Do you know, either of you, what it's like to be truly Irish in this country?  It means you stand quiet and know your place.  When they tell you your father died of the drink, you don't tell them it was from hunger, or shame.  You take what you're given, even when it means watching your little brother starve to death when you're fifteen years old.  That's why I grew up angry."
Heyes:  "Yeah.  Maybe... a little too angry, though, Molly."
Molly:  Nods.  "That's what my father used to say.  Even as he lay sick in his last week, he said, 'You're too angry, Molly.  There's an old saying in Kilkenny,' he said, 'Don't get mad--get even.'"
Heyes:  "And you're not sorry about it, are you?"
Molly:  "I don't know.  I haven't had time to think about it."
Curry:  "Well, stealin' money's more'n gettin' even, Molly.  It's gettin' in a mess of trouble, too."
Heyes:  "What my friend is saying is that we found out that it didn't work.  There are easier ways of getting even, if that's what you really want to do."
Curry:  "Molly, you know we're gonna have to turn you in when we get to Kettledrum."
Molly:  Upset.  "Why do you think I came back here?  I thought, of all the people in the world I could trust, it'd be you two!  You're not lawmen, you're not obligated to turn me in!"
Heyes:  Unhappily.  "Yes, we are.  Everyone back there knows that we brought you into town.  We can't afford to be connected with a... bank thief."
Molly:  "Why not?  You didn't steal the money!"
Curry:  "It's a long story, Molly, but believe me, we gotta turn you in, 'cause we can't afford to be connected in any way, or even suspected of being connected in any way, with a theft from a bank.  We're gonna have to turn you in."
Molly:  Angrily.  "I can't believe it!  You're absolutely spineless sponges!  You're real Orangemen...both of you!"  She turns to Heyes.  "His grandparents came from Londonderry.  What's your excuse?"
Heyes:  "Mine came from England."  He smiles.
Heyes tosses a leather thong to Curry, who gets up and starts tying Molly's hands.
Molly:  "Fellas, the money's hidden not too far from here.  I'll split it with you!"
Heyes:  "That's a real temptation.  But we just can't afford that either."
Molly:  "Smith and Jones...and you were saying how you tried and it didn't work.  I think I'm beginning to understand.  You're thieves yourselves!"
Curry:  "Well now, maybe ex-thieves, Molly.  But then again, maybe not.  In any case we're gonna have to turn you in to the first sheriff we come to.  We got no choice.  Sorry."
Molly:  "That'd be just my luck to fall in with a couple of reformed thieves.  They're the worst kind!"
Heyes:  "You know, I think she may be right."

It's sunrise and everyone in camp lies asleep.  Someone is sneaking through the rocks towards the camp.  A rifle barrel pushes Heyes' hat off his face.  The man holding the gun aims it between Heyes' eyes and cocks it.  Heyes opens his eyes and lies perfectly still.  Curry, asleep next to him, wakes with a start and freezes.  The man with the rifle is Harry Briscoe.  His surly-looking accomplice named Sam rides into camp.  He has his rifle at the ready.
Sam:  "Come on, all of you.  Up on your feet."
Molly stirs and gets up.  Heyes and Curry get to their feet.  Hands up, they walk in their socks over to the wagon near Jim.
Curry:  "So she was really telling the truth.  It was you after all, Harry.  You never did go back to the Bannerman Detective Agency, did you?"
Sam:  "Come on, let's get on with this."
Curry:  "Harry, you just could never do anything right, could you?"
Harry:  "Well, I did one thing right.  I figured you boys had to be up to something.  I just couldn't get it out of my mind.  So, I decided to follow you.  And was I right?!"
Sam:  "You're wastin' time!  Are you gonna tie 'em up or do I shoot 'em?"
Harry:  "No!"  He holds some leather thongs out to Molly.  "Here, Molly, tie 'em up."
Molly:  She holds up her bound hands.  "Tie them up?  I'm the one that's tied up!"
Sam:  To Harry, "You do it.  If one of 'em moves, I'll be happy to blow his head off."
Harry:  "Hands behind your back."
Harry leans his rifle against a rock, and ties Heyes's hands, then Curry's, then Jim's.
Heyes:  "He's another mistake, Harry."
Curry:  "Why are you doing this, Harry?"
Harry:  "Gettin' my money back."
Curry:  "Harry, she left your money back in Independence."
Sam:  "You said the money was right here!"
Harry finishes the knots and turns.
Harry:  "It's here somewhere.  She's got it on her somewhere."
Sam:  "If she's got it on her, I'll find it."  He gets off his horse and hands his rifle to Harry.  "Here, hold this."  He goes after Molly, who tries to get away from him.
Molly:  "You keep away from me."
Sam pushes Molly down.  He pulls out a large knife and stabs it into the ground.  She screams.
Heyes:  "Hey, come on!"
Harry:  "Now, take it easy, Sam."
Sam pulls Molly's headpiece from her head.
Heyes:  "Harry!"
Sam uses the knife to rip open the headpiece.  He pulls bundles of money from it.  Harry stuffs the bundles into his pockets.
Heyes:  "It ain't gonna work, Harry."
Sam:  "It's workin' just fine."
Harry:  "Well, Molly, if you hadn't double-crossed me, everything would've worked out just the way I had it planned."
Curry:  To Harry, "What about him?  Was he part of your plan?"
Harry:  "Well, I figured I might need a little help against you two."
Heyes:  "Figuring is not one of your strong points, Harry."
Sam:  "You're just gonna leave 'em like this, huh?"
Harry:  "That's right.  We're doing it my way.  It'll take them at least an hour to get untied from those thongs.  By then we'll be long gone...  Thanks boys, and so long.  And thank you, ah, sister."  He tips his hat and laughs.
Harry and Sam mount up and ride away, Harry laughing.
Heyes and Curry struggle with their ropes and slip their hands free.  Heyes checks his watch.
Heyes:  "Another mistake."
Jim:  "What's that?"
Heyes:  "Harry was wrong with the thongs by about forty minutes."
Curry goes after his gun and boots.  Heyes unties Jim.  Molly holds out her hands to Heyes to be untied.  He shakes his head.
Heyes:  "Uh-uh."
Molly:  "You're not gonna leave me like this?  Aw, come on, Jones, you've got to untie me.  You can't leave me..."
Heyes:  Pauses near Molly, boots in his hand.  "It's Smith, sweetheart."  To Jim, "And keep an eye on her.  She might be our only ticket out of this mess."  He heads for his horse.
Jim:  "I will."
Molly:  Calls after them as they ride away,  "Aw, come on, fellas, untie me.  Oh, please, untie me fellas."

Heyes and Curry follow Harry and Sam's trail.  They pause and Heyes dismounts to check for tracks.  They hear faint calls:  "Help! Help!"
Curry:  "I think it's coming from over there somewhere, don't you?"
Heyes:  "It's not only coming from over there, I think I know what it is."
Heyes gets back on his horse.  They ride over a rise to find Harry tied to a tree.  His horse is nearby.
Harry:  "Help!  Who is it?"  He looks behind him.  "Oh, am I glad to see you fellas!"
Heyes:  "Really, Harry?  I don't know whether you have reason to be."
Harry:  "Come on, cut me loose.  You'll never believe what that scoundrel did to me."
Heyes:  "Try us."
Harry:  "Well, I offered him his full twenty-five percent, just like I promised.  And didn't he hit me over the head and take all of it."
Heyes:  Laughs.  "Harry, can't you do anything right?"
Curry:  "Did you get his name, Harry?"
Harry:  "Sam, that's all.  But, I know where he went.  He tried to fool me by heading south.  Then, I heard him double back west over that ridge."
Heyes:  "Let's go."
They start to turn their horses away.
Harry:  "Hey!  What about me?!"
Heyes:  "Don't worry, Harry, we'll be back for you!"
They ride off.
Harry:  Calling after them, "You can't just leave me here!  Cut me loose!  I got terrible claustrophobie.  Boys!  Boys!"

Heyes and Curry follow Sam's trail until they come to an abandoned barn.  They dismount and take cover separately behind trees and bushes.
Heyes:  "He's in there."
Curry:  "How can you be sure he's in there?  Huh?"
Heyes:  "Because he's smart.  He knows he can't get to the border on a dead horse.  He'll just lay low and let the horse rest up and feed him and then he'll make his break."
Curry:  "Heyes, there's something wrong with your logic."
Heyes:  "Huh?"
Curry:  "If he's in there, we're gonna catch him.  And he's smart?"
Heyes:  "Shut up."  Heyes yells to the shack, "All right now, Sam, we know you're in there.  Now, you come out with your hands up, we'll hold our fire."  He looks over at Curry.  "Maybe he isn't so smart."
Heyes runs closer and dives behind some bushes.  Curry moves up to where Heyes was.  They wait.  Heyes signals Curry with his gun.  Both start walking cautiously toward the barn.  Suddenly Sam, on his horse, charges through the barn door, the saddlebags over one arm, his six-gun blazing.  Heyes and Curry dash back to cover and return his fire.  Sam's horse spins and rears.  Sam is thrown from the horse and hits the ground hard.  He lies unmoving.
Curry:  "What happened to him, Heyes?"
Heyes:  "I don't know--I didn't hit him."
They walk over to Sam.  Heyes bends to listen to his heart.  Curry retrieves the saddlebags and checks them for the money.
Curry:  "How is he?"
Heyes:  "I think he broke his neck when he hit the ground.  He's dead."

Heyes and Curry ride back to where they left Harry.  They're leading Sam's horse with an empty saddle.
Harry:  "Oh, I thought you boys'd never get here.  The sun is killing me.  Fellas, I've been doing some deep thinking."
Curry:  "Oh, don't, Harry.  You'll just get yourself in more trouble."
Harry:  "No, no.  I'm serious.  I discovered something.  There's one thing I'm not and never could be.  And that's a crook."
Heyes:  "Harry, you're off to a good start."  He dismounts and starts to untie Harry.
Harry:  "A detective, yes.  A crook, no."
Curry:  "Like a lot of people, you're finding out a little late, Harry."
Harry:  "With a small favor from you two, I could make amends."
Heyes:  "A small favor?"
Harry:  "It'd be no skin off your nose, and it'd be a truly noble gesture."
Curry:  "Harry, you know we never take a chance on anything noble."
Harry:  "But it'd be my salvation."
Heyes:  "So would thirty thousand dollars."

It's night.  Molly is asleep.  Harry sits on the wagon tongue, hands tied.  Jim is on guard with a rifle.  Heyes and Curry are off to one side, playing blackjack.  Heyes is dealing.
Curry:  "All right, hit me.  Again.  Again.  Again."  Heyes looks at him doubtfully.  "Yeah, come on.  Hit me."  Heyes deals him another card.  "What've you got?"
Heyes:  "Seventeen.  Dealer stands."
Curry:  He tosses his cards in.  "Sixteen.  You win."
Heyes:  Laughing.  "Sixteen."
Harry gets up.  Jim stands, rifle ready.
Harry:  "Can I talk to you a minute, boys?  Private."
Heyes pulls the saddlebags closer.
Heyes:  "Long as I got my hands on the money, you can talk as long as you want."
Harry moves over to them.  Jim has his rifle pointed at him the whole way.  Molly opens her eyes and looks at him as he passes.  Harry sits on the ground with Heyes and Curry.
Harry:  "I think you boys ought to tell me honestly what you mean to do."
Curry:  "It's very simple, Harry.  We're gonna turn you and Molly in."
Harry:  "Boys, you can't do that!  I'm one of the few people who know you're... (whispered) Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes!"  Heyes nods.  "What makes you think you can turn me over to some sheriff?"
Heyes:  "We can't.  We know that.  But old Jim over there, he's not wanted for anything.  He can turn you in to the sheriff.  He can even collect the reward, if there is any."
Harry:  "But there isn't one.  Boys, you have a glorious opportunity, because I've really reformed.  I truly understand now.  I could never make it as a crook.  But if...if I could return that money, my record's clean.  I never really did much of anything anyway, except take money from a girl who stole it."
Curry:  "Sorry, Harry, it's too complicated.  You're forgetting the matter of one Molly Cusack."
Harry:  "Let her go.  Truly a noble act.  Two of 'em."
Heyes:  "Nuh-huh.  Then we'd be left holding the noble bag.  No, Harry, it's out of the question."
Harry:  "Boys, didn't somebody help you once?"  He pauses, and tries another argument.  "Did you ever think how good it'd be to have a really grateful friend in the Bannerman organization?"
Suddenly there's the sound of a horse running.
Jim:  "Hey, stop!  Stop!"  He fires three shots into the air as Heyes and Curry run up.
Heyes:  "Jim, I told you to watch her!"
Jim:  "Well, I got to noddin' an' next thing I know, she's on one a them animals an' took off.  I coulda shot her off that horse, but I can't shoot no woman."
Harry:  Comes up behind them.  "Well, that sure eliminates one of your problems!  Huh, boys?"

Harry, Heyes and Curry ride into town and tie their horses to the rail in front of the sheriff's office.  Curry takes the saddlebags of money off his horse and hangs them over his shoulder.
Harry:  "I still say you boys should let me return that money personally to Mr. Bannerman.  It'd mean a lot more to him."
Heyes:  "It'd mean a lot more to me if I see you turn it in to the sheriff.  You can take it over and deposit it, see that it's transferred."
Harry:  "Now, boys, I know that money you got for delivering those cattle is burning a hole in your pockets.  Go on over, have a beer.  I'll take care of this."
Curry:  "Our way, Harry."
Harry:  "Your way is my way.  I just wanted you to know, my heart's in the right place."
Curry hangs the saddlebags over Harry's shoulder.  Harry enters the sheriff's office.  Heyes and Curry walk to a wagon sitting in the street next to the sheriff's office.  They lean against it, backs toward the office.
Curry:  "You know, I just had a terrible thought.  He could be in there with that sheriff right now saying, 'Sheriff, I'm Harry Briscoe with the Bannerman Detective Agency.  I got Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry right outside the office and I'm turning them in for the reward.'"
Heyes:  "I know, I know.  But I don't think it's gonna happen that way.  I think Harry's telling the truth--otherwise I wouldn't be standing here."
The sheriff and Harry exit the office and walk toward the bank.  Harry is laughing.  Heyes and Curry glance behind them, then quickly turn back.
Harry:  "Yeah, Sheriff, one thing they learn fast... you don't push around anybody named Harry Briscoe.  Bannerman man.  We have all the authority.  We do what's the right thing, you know?"
When Harry and the sheriff have almost reached the bank, Heyes and Curry turn to watch them go in.
Curry:  "Or he could've said, 'Sheriff, I got thirty-thousand dollars in my saddlebag.  I'd like your protection to go over to the bank and deposit it.'"
Heyes:  "I know.  I thought of that, too."
Curry:  "You trust him, huh?"
Heyes:  "I do.  I do.  I... I think that, well, I think Harry's seen his short-comings and has faced up to 'em."
Harry comes out of the bank with the sheriff.  They cross back over to the office and stop to shake hands.  Heyes and Curry turn back to the wagon.
Harry:  "Sheriff, much obliged."
The sheriff goes into his office and Harry moves toward Heyes and Curry.
Heyes:  "Well, Harry.  Don't keep us in suspense.  What did you really tell him?"
Harry:  "Receipt."  He hands a piece of paper to Heyes and pulls another out of his pocket.  "And now for something that's really important.  'Dear Mr. Bannerman:  Have just recovered thirty thousand dollars for your client, Farmer's Bank of Independence...'"
Heyes takes the paper from him and continues reading.
Heyes:  "'...And have deposited same in Kettledrum Bank for transfer by authority of local sheriff.  Suggest you reconsider my application for readmission.  Sincerely, Harry Briscoe.'"
Harry:  "Or, Kindest regards?"

Heyes and Curry exit the telegraph office with Harry and stop in front of it.
Heyes:  "Well, Harry, you sure were right.  Bannerman was very, very grateful."
Harry:  "As I am to you boys.  Never fear."
Curry:  "And you're sure you're going straight now, Harry."
Harry:  "Do you think I could ever do anything crooked again?"
Heyes and Curry exchange looks.
Harry:  "I'll be at the saloon."

A stagecoach arrives across the street and several passengers exit, including Sister Julia.
Sister Julia:  "Thank you.  Goodbye.  Thank you."
Heyes:  "Sister Julia!"
She turns to find Heyes and Curry hurrying toward her.
Sister Julia:  "Why, Joshua!  Thaddeus!  What a pleasant surprise."
Curry:  "Sister."
Sister Julia:  "What are you doing here?"
Curry:  "Well, we delivered our cattle this morning.  We thought we'd come in to town, try to sell the wagon."
Sister Julia:  "Well, it's nice to see you."
Heyes:  "It's wonderful to see you, Sister."
Sister Julia:  "You know, we never did find Sister Isabel.  It's one of the great mysteries of my life."
Curry hesitates, looks at Heyes.
Curry:  "Well, I'll tell you, Sister.  It's not gonna be a mystery any longer, 'cause we're gonna tell you what happened.  She was an impostor.  She stole some money and she was on the run.  She had some kinda idea that the world had mistreated her and she was, in her words, tryin' to get even."
Sister Julia:  "You know, I got to know Sister Isabel rather well, and I find that very difficult to believe.  But if you boys say it's true, I... I must believe it."
Heyes:  "Sister, we haven't sold our chuck wagon yet.  So if you'll let us, we'd love to give you a ride out to the convent, free of charge."
Sister Julia:  Smiles,  "To tell the truth, I knew I had that ride the moment I saw you."

Curry stops the wagon at the convent gate.  Several nuns are working around the grounds.  He climbs down, and helps Sister Julia down.
Curry:  "Well, here you are, Sister.  Safe and sound."
Sister Julia:  "I thank you boys for all your help.  You'll be in my prayers."
Heyes:  "Thank you, Sister."
Curry:  "Goodbye, Sister."
Heyes:  "Goodbye."
Sister Julia moves toward the front gate.  Curry starts to climb back in the wagon.  Heyes stops him, pointing.  Curry turns to see Molly come out of the convent.  Sister Julia pauses, then turns.
Sister Julia:  "You look surprised.  You shouldn't be."
Sister Julia crosses to Molly.  They embrace.  Sister Julia puts an arm around Molly's shoulder.  They both wave as Curry turns the wagon and drives off.

Closing Theme and Credits